Is this real life?

Today, I'm pregnant.

WHAT THE WHAT????

After 2 1/2 years,  I'm pregnant.  I don't even know what to say, do, think, believe.  Is this real?  Is it viable?  Is this my dream finally coming true?

IF history:
I'll try to be brief!  In February 2011, we ditched the birth control and started trying for a baby.  I started charting to confirm ovulation and time things.  Month after month went by....no baby.  After a year, I called my OB.  She did some initial testing and Johnnie had a semen analysis.  All seemed ok, so she referred us on to a RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) for more testing.

We saw The RE for the first time in April 2012.  In May 2012, we got our first diagnosis: MFI (Male Factor Infertility).  Basically too many of Johnnie's sperm are not shaped the right way or swimming the right way, so they can't penetrate my eggs.  For awhile Johnnie wasn't ready to do any treatments.  So I waited.  I tried to be patient.  It was really hard but I understand that he needed time to process things.

In July 2012, Johnnie decided it was time!  Our RE recommended IVF right from the get go.  We weren't sure we were ready for that.  Luckily, our insurance covered procedures and medications.  What a blessing!  We started with 2 IUI's with injectible medications, against our RE's advice.  Neither worked, but I am really glad we tried them.

In December 2012, we took the plunge did a fresh IVF cycle.  WOH IVF is intense!  So many medications including injections, pills, suppositories.  Wow.  I seriously amaze my own self with the strength that it took to do it.  On 12/6/12, 14 eggs were retrieved.  11 were mature and 9 fertilized!  Yeah!  Out of those 9, the doctors weren't impressed with how well they were growing, so they recommended a 3 day transfer.  We transferred 2 day 3 embryos on 12/9/12. 

Waiting, waiting waiting...torture!  I tested at home and it was negative.  I was crushed.  You have to go in for the betas anyways.  What a shock when they called and said that my betas were really low, but they were rising!  Hope!  Started testing positive at home, but I was bleeding.  Long story short, it was a chemical pregnancy.  The loss happened on 12/31/12 at 5W3D.  Happy new year.

The positive to come out of that heartbreaking cycle was that at the end, there were 2 embryos that were healthy enough to be frozen.  Hope again!  We lost our insurance coverage for infertility treatments in January.  Stupid healthcare!  My RE recommended some autoimmune testing, leading to my diagnosis of high NK cells.  Everyone has killer cells, but I have too many.  So if an embryo fertilizes, my body kills it off.  Luckily, the treatment with intralipids is fairly simple and painless.  Small favors!

We pulled some money together and tried a FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) in March.  We got all the way through the protocol until about a week before estimated transfer.  I started bleeding.  Ultrasound confirmed my lining was only a 4.  It needs to be an 8.  Cancelled.  Devastated again.

When we met with the RE to talk about a new game plan, he had a protocol to try for poor responders to the typical FET protocol.  It involved Trental for 3 months, then a whole bunch of pills and Viagra (Yes, you are reading that correctly) suppositories 4X per day!  Intense!  The side effects on the Terbulatine were insane.  Far worse that any side effects for anything that I'd done so far.  It better be worth it....

And it was.  Made it to transfer with a lining of 11.  11!!!!  We transfered 1 blast that was already hatching on 8/21/13.  The picture on the left is the embryo.  You can see how it is hatching out of it's shell!  On the right is my uterus.  See that white flash in the middle?  That's the little embryo being transferred onto my beautifully perfect lining.  Our baby's first picture!

Pee sticks:
So here we are.  My EDD is 5/9/14.  I'm 3 weeks 4 days pregnant today.  I started testing at 4dp5dt (9 DPO).  Crazy, crazy early!  There was "something" there.  I couldn't get it in a picture.  I called it "not negative" and got more tests.  5dp5dt, the line was definitely there! Today at 6dp5dt it is super obvious.  Here's the progression so far:

Symptoms:
The day after transfer, I had crazy bad gas!  Eww!  4ish days later, I had some ovary aching and sharp pains in my vagina.  I've had some more cramping and sore boobs today, but not a lot else to report.  My beta tests are not scheduled until 8/30/13 and 9/3/13.  They don't call until after the 2nd test.  RAWR!  I'm armed and dangerous with pee sticks to get myself through the next week.

I totally regret not blogging my IF journey.  I hope to change that with this pregnancy!